end of an era / its good to be home
today, at long last, i deleted my tumblr (and the email that at this point was only associated with it and has long since been relegated to spam). i logged into it on my phone this morning, just to do some nostalgia fueled scrolling on the platform that originally was very inspiring and just generally felt good. i found immediately that i didn't resonate with it anymore at all. it wasn't the same tumblr that existed when i was in my late teens, early 20s, circa 2009-2014, and i realized that it was silly to hold on to my old blogs.
i also realized how much i have come to love bear, and that i have been able to fill that hole that tumblr used to inhabit with my time spent on this digital space.
i haven't been so active on the internet in the past month anyways, which i'm not upset about. life has been great, and in so many ways i feel renewed, but i am still in a transition. i'm living with my family right now, and have a beautiful home lined up in september, and i think that is part of it. its hard to maintain my old routines when i don't have my own space, and all of my belongings are in storage. i am eagerly awaiting the moment when i can finish my move, have my pod delivered to my new address, and begin unpacking and setting my new space (as well as offically changing my license back to my old home state).
lately, rather than having my old routine of sitting down at my computer at night, or in the morning, with my morning coffee, i've been adapting to a new routine of making my coffee to go, and walking down to the green line stop to catch the t to work. i have roughly 45-50 minutes of time spent in the liminal space only a passive mode of transportation can provide every morning, and every afternoon, where i have been escaping into the world of the wheel of time. its been really fun rereading this, as i haven't read it since middle school.
sometimes, i actually forget that i'm not in richmond anymore, and then i see something that makes me remember that i'm in boston, this is my original home, my family is 50 minutes away in any direction, and all of the heavy homesickness that i had previously felt dissipates. i can feel myself being okay with settling into a relatively simple job routine that does nothing but pays the bills, and gives me a good group of people to be around every day, and not feel like i'm rooting myself somewhere that will make it difficult to transplant myself back home in the future.