which stone next?
Its been a few days since I've written here. I'll admit, I've been in a kind of weird funk. I fell out of not only the habit of journaling, but blogging, reading, playing guitar, really everything that makes me happy. Its only been 5 days but its been a long 5 days. I've spent myself spiraling into my head and didn't even realize it.
I just got lost going through my old camera roll, the one from my old phone that is 3,400 photos long, and remembering so many good shows, the time I saw Men I Trust, the many times I played with my good friend Claire, recording in a studio that was struck by lightning and burnt to the ground, before I dated Bella and after. I feel like I've lived a million different lives in these 5 or so short years and now 5 days pass and I feel like a void.
Is it my job? Could be. I know I need to be applying to more jobs, actually applying myself, and trying to not be afraid of taking chances and growing. My job is a stepping stone, I know it, and I feel like I am looking out across the surface of the water, trying to gauge which stone to hop to next. Is the one on the right stable? That one over there on the left looks pretty good. What about that one behind me, to the right, that I kind of skipped over but is so easy to just step onto?
I know I'll feel better once I get the courage to move forward. I just have to do it.