a little update
well, i had a third interview for this other job, the one up in boston, near my family. it went well, except now, after learning more about this role and how its different than my current role, i keep having this nagging feeling that i shouldn't want it, that i should stay where i am and just get a room mate. the more i thought about it, the more that felt like what i should do. moving is such a chore, and so expensive, and i've finally settled in here a little bit and have made some really wonderful friends, both at my current job and outside of work. i have finally reached a point in my current job where i feel like i'm seen, and people appreciate me and all i do, and i want to find a way to continue growing with them. i like the people here too much, and that's really the kicker for me.
i still feel pretty good about how the interview process went, and i still feel like they probably do want me for it, but i can't get this feeling out of my head. i know this isn't what i want to do for work for the long term, its just what i'm doing right now.
there's also a lot that i don't like the sound of, and i lied in the interview and said i was fine with, because i wanted to be agreeable. first and foremost, this job would require me to work events, and stay very late, until around midnight, to close up. that's a hard boundary that i don't want to cross. i like coming home and being done with work at 4:30 or 5:00, and relaxing. its like i could already see myself getting burnt out from this new job before i even had an official offer in front of me.
i'm not sure what i'm going to do right now, but i began putting out feelers for finding a room mate, specifically within my small film photography circle. i began talking with someone today who seems interested, and quite frankly, if i did just get a room mate i think it would help me with a lot more than just saving money.
i think i know what direction i'm leaning in, i'll just see what else i hear after these interviews.
for now, i'm tired of staring at my screen and i want to go to bed, read my book, and wind down.
-- amendment --
i think these back and forth thoughts are myself coping with the waiting period before hearing about the job. also, upon further thought, i wouldn't mind working late events occasionally if i was making good overtime pay (which i will be in this situation). i would also love to be near family and my other friends again. i also have to remember that richmond isn't going anywhere. i can always come back to visit my old friends here, and invite them to visit me in mass. for me, i have to hope for the best, keep on following this hiring process, and continue to work hard. it will pay off. all these anxieties and "should i really do this, should i really do that"s? are normal, and are reactions i'm having to formulate alternate plans should i not get this opportunity.
but most importantly, it will all work out. in some way or another.