heavy air
the week has been heavy, and to add to it, the weather has been stormy, humid, 70-80 degree days. the air feels like moving through wet sand, textured and thick, slowing me down more than i want to. it hasn't all been tough though, and the slow down has really been good for me to really think intentionally about my days.
my mom recently had a colonoscopy, where they found a small mass of cancer. that has been the heavy, dark cloud in my life currently. fortunately, the doctor's say it is completely curable, and nothing to worry too much about. i still worry though, though perhaps that is because i'm about as far down route 95 as i can without being in the moist swamp lands of florida (okay, a little dramatic, its only virginia). i just suddenly felt so far away and yearned more than i have before to have my family around me.
and like that, it seems the universe has begun to formulate a plan. before the news of my mom, i heard some disappointing news about my current role, which i was hoping would be full time by now. spoiler alert, its not. budgeting and delayed construction plans for the new section of our museum have been pushed back, and thus, my position advancing has been delayed too. it was around that time, a few weeks ago, that i began seriously looking for new work up in my home of massachusetts, not expecting to find anything anytime soon, and planning on struggling through the next part of this year until my lease expires. i saw an opportunity though that i couldn't pass up, really just because i realized it was exactly what i was doing here in richmond, but in boston. i went for it and they scheduled a virtual interview with me on monday, and a follow up interview yesterday. both went well and they expressed a lot of excitement for me as a candidate for this job. i'm still waiting to hear more about next steps, but feel (and am trying to still curb these feelings a little) excitement about where this will take me (back home).
the air still feels heavy around me. i'm donning one of my favorite tee shirts, a vintage maroon boxy fit with heather grey sleeves, in hopes of staying relatively cool throughout the day. despite the heaviness though, i feel it lifting. i listen to the geese flying through this thick air, smaller birds digging up bugs and worms to feed to their young, chirping away excitedly, and passing trains in the distance, transporting freight to distant parts of the country. amongst all of this, i feel the heaviness departing. things just take time, but i have to have hope.